{"id":22844,"date":"2022-12-22T21:36:33","date_gmt":"2022-12-22T21:36:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/?p=22844"},"modified":"2022-12-23T18:22:12","modified_gmt":"2022-12-23T18:22:12","slug":"holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/","title":{"rendered":"Holiday Gifts: More Aphorisms"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-drop-cap\">As we enter this holiday season with too much on our minds, it is once again time for some shared wisdom. As always, we&#8217;ll try to mix the humorous with the profound. And because it&#8217;s the holidays, we&#8217;re leaning toward the humorous. I mean, you gotta smile sometime, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Should Be Obvious<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>James Thurber<\/strong>, author: \u201cOne martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/dotdash-merideth-food-martini.jpg\" alt=\"Holiday\" width=\"563\" height=\"375\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong>Courtesy: Dotdash Meredith Food Studios<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Masha Gessen<\/strong>, New Yorker columnist, quoting a Russian proverb: \u201cIf you invite a bear to dance, it\u2019s not you who decides when the dance is over. It\u2019s the bear.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ralph Hodgson<\/strong>, English poet: \u201dThe handwriting on the wall may be a forgery.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Big Bill Broonzy<\/strong>, musician: \u201cAll music is folk music. I ain\u2019t never heard no horse sing a song.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/big-bill-broonzy-prewar-blues-guitar-legend.jpg\" alt=\"Holiday\" width=\"465\" height=\"290\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong>Big Bill Broonzy<\/strong> (Public Domain)<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Plus \u00e7a change<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Seventh U.S. Circuit Court (1991)<\/strong>: \u201cThe man who wins the lottery once is envied; the man who wins it twice is investigated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/win-the-lottery.jpg\" alt=\"Holiday\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong>Courtesy: Lienhartphoto<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lena Samoilenko, Ukraine<\/strong>: \u201cThe moment when it\u2019s time to evacuate has not been determined with certainty. But it is known when it will be too late: when the city is being bombed from the air.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Carl Cameron, former Fox TV political correspondent<\/strong>: &#8220;It\u2019s like a stripper. You are going to get screwed but not F@$#\u2019d.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A Noble Beast<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Will Rogers<\/strong>: \u201cIf stupidity got us into this mess, why can\u2019t it get us out of it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Napoleon Bonaparte<\/strong>: \u201cNever interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>George Burns: <\/strong>\u201cIt\u2019s too bad the folks who could solve all our problems are too busy cutting hair and driving taxis.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/Dan_McCoy-Dodge_Polara_and_other_Yellow_Cabs_in_1973_(NYC).jpg\" alt=\"Holiday\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong>Taxis NYC<\/strong> (courtesy Dan McCoy)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Parable of Prayer: <\/strong>A ferocious storm sweeps through a town, and in the aftermath, a man clambers onto his roof to escape the floodwaters. As he sits there, someone in a canoe comes by and offers to carry him to safety. \u201cNo thanks,\u201d the man replies. \u201cGod will save me.\u201d The man paddles off, and the waters continue to rise. Shortly afterwards, someone in a boat pulls up to offer help. \u201cNo thank you,\u201d the man says again. \u201cGod will deliver me.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The waters rise higher. Finally, a Coast Guard helicopter appears; someone with a megaphone offers to drop a ladder. \u201cNo thank you,\u201d the man says for a final time. \u201cI prayed for God to save me.\u201d The helicopter flies off, the waters engulf the roof, and the man drowns. When the man arrives in heaven, he asks in confusion, \u201cWhat happened, God? Why didn\u2019t you rescue me?\u201d God replies, \u201cI sent you a canoe, a boat, and a helicopter. What more did you want?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>For all my fans, even those on the fence, I&#8217;m sending wishes for a happy holiday season. For everyone else? The same. <em>Give love. Spread happiness. Share hope. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>In memoriam<\/em>, DWB (1952-2022)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Copyright Leland E. Hale (2022). All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/lelandhale-portrait.png\" alt=\"Leland E. Hale\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Purchase <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Leland-E.-Hale\/e\/B005LEATVA\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Butcher, Baker<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Order my latest book, &#8220;<strong>What Happened In Craig<\/strong>,&#8221; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1941890229?pf_rd_p=d1f45e03-8b73-4c9a-9beb-4819111bef9a&amp;pf_rd_r=7G8DPC5WNEGBWK8G6981\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>HERE<\/strong><\/a> and <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.barnesandnoble.com\/w\/what-happened-in-craig-leland-e-hale\/1129010868;jsessionid=BB32A736B72D9908645D42CAB43111BE.prodny_store01-atgap08?ean=9781941890226\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>. True crime from Epicenter Press about <em>Alaska\u2019s Worst Unsolved Mass Murder.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/WhatHappenedinCraig-crop.png\" alt=\"Craig\"\/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As we enter this holiday season with too much on our minds, it is once again time for some shared&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[91,99],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture","category-politics"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Holiday Gifts: More Aphorisms - Leland E. Hale<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It&#039;s the holiday season, which means it&#039;s time for giving. We&#039;re sharing more tidbits of wisdom and sly humor. Never get enough of that funky stuff.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Holiday Gifts: More Aphorisms - Leland E. Hale\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It&#039;s the holiday season, which means it&#039;s time for giving. We&#039;re sharing more tidbits of wisdom and sly humor. Never get enough of that funky stuff.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Leland E. Hale\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-12-22T21:36:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-12-23T18:22:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/dotdash-merideth-food-martini.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/\",\"name\":\"Holiday Gifts: More Aphorisms - Leland E. Hale\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/dotdash-merideth-food-martini.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-12-22T21:36:33+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-23T18:22:12+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#\/schema\/person\/bc09f10fd9511b3815b0bee6dee86abb\"},\"description\":\"It's the holiday season, which means it's time for giving. We're sharing more tidbits of wisdom and sly humor. Never get enough of that funky stuff.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/dotdash-merideth-food-martini.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/dotdash-merideth-food-martini.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Holiday Gifts: More Aphorisms\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/\",\"name\":\"Leland E. Hale\",\"description\":\"The Official Blog\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#\/schema\/person\/bc09f10fd9511b3815b0bee6dee86abb\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/57b01d7412ace23bc6601f6f1254db39?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/57b01d7412ace23bc6601f6f1254db39?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Holiday Gifts: More Aphorisms - Leland E. Hale","description":"It's the holiday season, which means it's time for giving. We're sharing more tidbits of wisdom and sly humor. Never get enough of that funky stuff.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Holiday Gifts: More Aphorisms - Leland E. Hale","og_description":"It's the holiday season, which means it's time for giving. We're sharing more tidbits of wisdom and sly humor. Never get enough of that funky stuff.","og_url":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/","og_site_name":"Leland E. Hale","article_published_time":"2022-12-22T21:36:33+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-12-23T18:22:12+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/dotdash-merideth-food-martini.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/","url":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/","name":"Holiday Gifts: More Aphorisms - Leland E. Hale","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/dotdash-merideth-food-martini.jpg","datePublished":"2022-12-22T21:36:33+00:00","dateModified":"2022-12-23T18:22:12+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#\/schema\/person\/bc09f10fd9511b3815b0bee6dee86abb"},"description":"It's the holiday season, which means it's time for giving. We're sharing more tidbits of wisdom and sly humor. Never get enough of that funky stuff.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/dotdash-merideth-food-martini.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/images\/dotdash-merideth-food-martini.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/holiday-gifts-more-aphorisms\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Holiday Gifts: More Aphorisms"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#website","url":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/","name":"Leland E. Hale","description":"The Official Blog","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#\/schema\/person\/bc09f10fd9511b3815b0bee6dee86abb","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/57b01d7412ace23bc6601f6f1254db39?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/57b01d7412ace23bc6601f6f1254db39?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22844"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22844"}],"version-history":[{"count":80,"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22844\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22928,"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22844\/revisions\/22928"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lelandhale.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}