Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
That crappy little club was bad enough. Cindy also found herself wandering from one temporary landing place to another. She started hiding out in motels with various pimps, sometimes with one of their women, more often not. It only got worse. For a while, she was staying with a woman who “happened” to sell drugs. The drug of the moment was cocaine. Cindy was using it every chance she got. Flothe’s only hope was that she would call before she hit rock bottom.
And, in fact, by the time Flothe caught up with Cindy — some four days later in that crappy little club — it seemed as though she was as close to the bottom as she could possibly get. In a way that was true. But, as luck would have it, hope showed up in the guise of someone who actually cared about her. Someone with a nice house, far from the downtown scene. And some stability, if only by comparison. It was a mixed blessing.
The truth about “the street” is that it runs on its own rules. At its most basic level, the street is ruled by what I’ll call “instrumentality.” Which is just a fancy way of saying, “if you have something I need, I’ll hang with you. If you don’t? Ain’t happening.” Of course it’s more nuanced than that. Or can be. Cindy’s connection with Morgan exemplifies that. She took one look at Cindy and said, “what the fuck? You can’t be living like this.”
Every Form of Refuge Has Its Price
The refuge quote (above) comes, of course, from The Eagles song, “Lying Eyes.” To be clear, the issue isn’t always that the rescuer has ulterior motives. Sometimes, the rescuer means well — but falls short. As my mother was fond of saying, “I feel for you, but I can’t quite reach you.” In this case, Cindy ultimately found herself traveling into an alien world.
It looked the same, but it was a mirror image. It was Alice in Wonderland.
Does This Sound Trivial?
At the risk of piling on the clichés, “no one can help you until you’re ready to be helped.” Or something like that. There was, in fact, a deeper truth here. Consider the following:
- Cindy lived in relative peace for the three months after her first interview with the Alaska State Troopers. She was off the streets, with only periodic visits from the cops. There was also a bevy of “outcalls,” where she went to the trick’s house. Away from the hustle bustle of the parlor.
- But… After a while, it became apparent that Cindy was doing lots of drugs. She was coping, and… Sgt. Flothe demanded a drug test. They found a shocking amount of cocaine in her system. Fearful they might lose their best witness, the police visits became more “routine.”
- At the 90-day mark, Troopers informed Cindy that she should expect a visit from Robert Hansen’s defense attorney. Once more, it was “routine” — Cindy was a key witness for both sides — but the mere mention of Robert Hansen sent chills up her spine.
- Three weeks later, Troopers served Cindy with a subpoena. Again, it was “routine.” It was also a reminder that she would have to face Robert Hansen in court. Would have to testify about what he did to her.
- So… Two weeks after being served the subpoena, Cindy disappeared from Gentleman’s Retreat. She didn’t announce it. She didn’t tell anyone where she was going. That last part because, in all honesty, she didn’t know where she was going.
There was a plan, however. Disappearing meant… Cindy wouldn’t have to meet with Hansen’s lawyers. Wouldn’t have to appear in court. Wouldn’t have to… You know the drill.
And then she hit rock bottom.
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