Excerpts: The Cindy Paulson Interview

Butcher Baker Promo w/ Cindy Paulson

Cindy Paulson survived to tell the tale of serial killer Robert Hansen. She was key to bringing him to justice, but that was long ago. Since then, her life has taken her many places, including a stellar appearance on People Magazine Investigates. In this excerpt, drawn from my ongoing interviews with this remarkable woman, she takes us behind the scenes at Robert Hansen’s sentencing on kidnapping, rape and murder charges. Not surprisingly, Hansen admitted to killing only four women. Their names: Sherry Morrow. Paula Goulding. Joanna Messina. Eklutna Annie. And, yes, there were more. Cindy almost joined them.

NOTE: This segment is being brought to you by Open Road Media, the stellar publisher of Butcher, Baker. Scroll down for some great offers!

Robert Hansen’s Sentencing

February 27, 1984
Superior Court for the State of Alaska, Third Judicial District, Anchorage, Alaska

Today is the day. The day Robert C. Hansen will finally be sentenced for murder, kidnapping and rape. My kidnapping. My rape. The cops tell me I don’t have to be there, but you know what? I want to see that motherf….r confess.

So I’m here. I arrive at the downtown courthouse in a new Chrysler New Yorker, gliding smooth as silk past the neighborhoods of Anchorage. The woman at the wheel, the one with the local Roto-Rooter franchise, has taken good care of me. I’m wearing a borrowed white shirt and a blue blazer. I’m in shape. Clean. Sober. There’s meat on my bones. Weight back where it should be. The magical nights of her neighborhood, with its snow angels and icicle rainbows, are in the rear-view mirror.

In a blur, we’re at the downtown courthouse. There’s cops everywhere. There are totem poles, Eskimo sculptures and carved wooden doors, too. But I don’t see them. I’m blind in my emotion. Wandering the hallways, lost in the rush to see this man served justice, I’m pointed to the Third Floor. Elevator up. Make the turn. There, I finally spot the doors. There’s more cops; this must be the place. The guards stop me, check my name, pry the doors… And then I pause… Part of me doesn’t want to go all the way, doesn’t want to be at this parade: I’m trying to hold it all in. Then I feel the anger inside me – it must be Felicia talking, because she says, “get in there.” She tells me I have to. “You’ve come this far and nothing’s going to stop you.”

Felicia is the person I became after Hansen. I had to become another person, because Cindy was all bad memories. Felicia was the new someone. She could read the room – any room. She was the one who could see a person and know if that person was right, wrong or indifferent. The person who had that sixth sense. I didn't have that before, you know… After Hansen I had to be extra tuned in.

Because part of me can’t handle the memories. The fear of death, you know?

Where Justice Awaits

Anyway, I get to the courtroom, ok? Even though I know what I’m supposed to do, I’m stalled because I don’t see a seat. The place is packed. And it’s small, smaller than I expected. What I remember are the doors. Thick. Heavy. You walk in, there’s rows of benches: a row to the left, a row to the right. In the center of the room there’s the prosecution table and the defense table. The judge is in the corner, sitting above it all.

I take a few steps, but I just freeze there, because… Because I need to find the Exit sign. I can’t go in until I know how to escape. I’ve been that way ever since I ran from him. Ever since I got away. I’m skittish, like a wild animal. I glance toward the judge’s bench. It’s no man’s land. I look right. See another bailiff; that calms me a bit. Then, just beyond her, there’s the familiar red sign. EXIT. My exit. That’s where I want to be.

Face to Face With Hansen

I baby-step into the courtroom. And then freeze again. It’s a moment where I’m stuck on my personal pause button; everyone is talking, but it’s a whisper. Mouths are moving but everything’s in slow motion. I give a quick glance at the families of Robert Hansen’s victims, sitting in what looks like bleacher seats.

And when I walked into the courtroom, I could feel their eyes on me, but in my soul I could feel the girls were with me. You know, every one of them was inside of me. Looking at him and you know, I could feel them look at their family and say we finally get our day, you know, and their family, they just kind of looked at me like they just... like they looked through me to see their... their loved one. You know what I mean? And it was a really weird experience because I looked at each one of them in the eye, but I didn't see them. 

They look at me and I look at them but, deep inside, their grieving isn’t mine. I want to reach out to them, to put them at ease. I want them to know that I was put on earth for one reason. To catch Robert Hansen, so he couldn’t kill no more girls. I feel their eyes on me, but our eyes don’t lock; it’s as if looking at me could break something inside them.

There’s a fair-haired man, hunched over, holding back tears. A blonde, maybe his wife, with big hair and mouth clinched tight. Then a younger woman — someone’s sister?

I buried my feelings because I’d heard those girls — his other victims — tell me to run… And I ran. Ran from Robert Hansen, all those months ago. That’s why I’m here. Alive. And the eyes that looked back at me were their loved ones. They had a doll look in their eyes. You know, they were hurting. And it wasn’t fair that they didn’t get justice for their loved ones. Maybe they see me and they think, why did she survive? And why didn’t my sister or my daughter?

But then I sat down. And then they're talking and stuff. And Hansen is like. From... from the table to where I was sitting, he could have reached out and touched me and that's basically what he did. He turned around and gave like this... Look. And looked me dead in the eye. And all I seen was the devil.

It’s then that I realize – Felicia realizes… We’re all here to see this man – if you can call him that. A man who’s killed more women than Alaska can count.

Now A Word From Our Sponsor

As you no doubt know by now, it’s sales of Butcher, Baker that keep this enterprise humming. We are very fortunate to have Open Road Media fulfill that role. That’s because, in addition to offering Butcher, Baker in multiple formats, they also periodically offer my work on discount. That’s an “everybody wins” proposition.

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Butcher, Baker	Gilmour/ Hale	Early Bird Books	CA	Oct. 27, 2026	Oct 27, 2026	$11.99
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Copyright Leland E. Hale, 2026. All rights reserved.

You can also order “What Happened In Craig,” HERE and HERE. True crime on Epicenter Press about Alaska’s Worst Unsolved Mass Murder.

NOW available: Kill Brother, Kill Sister, part three of my Alaska Murder Trilogy. Don’t miss this one! Three millionaires face off and only one of them survives!